Thursday, December 21, 2017

for the colder days ahead...

top, h&m. hoodie, secondhand from aunt/s. jeans, zara. boots, rubi by cotton on via zalora (similar). tote, from bff. 

It's time to bring out the boots and cold weather wear because it's been raining intermittently today and there's a tropical storm that's coming in tonight. Local name by PAG-ASA: Vinta. As for the ankle boots/boots part, I have two or three pairs at the moment, I'm still looking to grow the arsenal...pretty soon. 

The stormy cold days is also when this pair of jeans from Zara from late last, last year, circa 2016? come out. I don't really wear jeans when it isn't too cold. Skirts is the norm here. And lastly, totes/tote bags. I can never get enough of them. I'm considering adding more from Savemore (I found one with cat print for 190-ish Php) and a good few from Miniso in SM Premiere. I could put the newly purchased SM Advantage Card (SMAC) to good use since my last one couldn't be renewed for being really limited to Watson's Dumaguete City system...hmn...

Such a full, full week this week, I hardly had time to breathe until today and, well, tonight. I hope to rest more thereafter. It is the holidays and the holidays should be for hermiting and resting, at home, in the quiet. Monday was house cleaning, arranging and decorating in time for the Christmas Party the next day, Tuesday. Tuesday---and I had been mentioning or alluding to, one too many times, how this year's holidays seem so gloomy/glum---I'd just had my twitter timeline got bombarded/filled by tweets on Shinee's (an SM Entertainment boy group) Kim Jonghyun's death by suicide, due to depression. He apparently suffered from SAD (seasonal affective disorder/seasonal depression) prior to killing himself. Something I easily connect with as I have it to, or used to suffer from it as it has now evolved to or progressed to Dysthymia, now called Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD). Anyway, it's something I'm trying to keep at bay and manage by Psychotherapy at the moment. The depression is mild but it's there along with crippling general/social anxiety so...that's life for me. Now, I'm not a Shawol (what they call Shinee's fandom) as I'm not a huge fan of big entertainment companies like SM Entertainment (though they have linked up with Avex in Japan...) but this death affects me because I, too, suffer from depression that I find difficult to shake off. I may have to live with this for a loooong...while. I'm not suicidal though I have had thoughts of death. I'm too chicken to end my life on my own so there's that making me just your average gloomy person exhibiting signs and symptoms of PDD.

I say this again, and again, and again: depression is real, it exists. It's an illness/disorder although of the psychological kind. It's important to seek help before it gets worse, for the sake of preventing the worst outcome that could happen: death by suicide. Also, people need to be aware of the fact that depression is real and there are those who suffer from it. Living just for the sake of living; a soulless, hallow way of just existing is exhausting enough for depression sufferers (like me). So those who are aware need to toe the line around those who suffer from depression and take care enough not to add to said people's worries, etc lest they want to trigger the suicides/self-harming that's usually the end-all, be-all for depressives. 

....and...what is done, is done. I think tropical storm Vinta is just a step away from making it's full landfall in Hinatuan, Surigao del Sur. The rain is definitely getting stronger now and it won't be long before we'll be under storm signal number 2 here in the province of Misamis Oriental. I did get a bit of cheer from those live tweeting Highlight's (formerly known as Beast) first day of three concerts in Seoul's Jamsil Arena. So on wards, we keep on living, I suppose.


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