wholeheartedly, not half-heartedly: on band/group tshirts

When I'm into something, I'm into it wholeheartedly and not just half-heartedly...especially when they're really near and dear to me like music.

I've decided to craft this post because lately, I notice I'm into a lot of things fandom merchandise. Most of those I get lately are unofficial ones but I do have some official ones here and there somewhere. Prime example is that one shirt of Golden Child's Y I got from a local (to the Philippines) stay at home cup sleeves event I have yet to wear.

So you can already see where this post is going: band or music-related shirts. Yes, exactly.

Even at this time, I'm currently contemplating really biting the bullet on a light pink BtoB Eunkwang member and number shirt in large and the white version of it so I'd have something to wear on Wednesdays (the pink one) in support of my Presidential bet for 2022 Philippines' National Elections. Okay, that went political really fast and I didn't mean it to go that way. It just happens these days. lol. There are a lot of merch for the said political bet I have but I'll make a post on that one for another day. I think I at least owe myself and others that read this blog a look into how I think and feel about that one because it's an entirely quite complicated thing so yeah...let's talk about this in a future post. We'll focus on music, fandom, easy going t-shirts and just generally, good vibes on this post here.

I'm into music, yes. I'm also into unofficial and official music-related merch, yes. Now that we've established both of that, let's just segue quickly into how the series of lockdowns this still ongoing global pandemic has me looking into discographies of old prolific American pop and rock and roll iconic bands like the Beach Boys and the Monkees (they're made for TV but Daydream Believer made me a fan of theirs and I'm a Believer is a classic for me from them, too, considering how many times I've heard this, covered or in its original recording form, on TV, film and more). I've also looked into discographies of American punk rock and even pop punk rock bands like the All American Rejects, Eve6, Fountains of Wayne, Jimmy Eat World, and Bowling for Soup but true to my being a pop music fan since my dad got me listening to Kenny Rogers, Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, John Denver at home and in long and short drives growing up, of course, I'm stuck on the Beach Boys and the Monkees (I also blame Nickelodeon's Big Time Rush way back 2010-ish for why I'm stuck on both rn.)

The Beatles, what? I'm not a huge fan of theirs, to be honest. I think the Beach Boys' music is more to my music palate plus I like Southern California a lot with tons of my family in the mother side residing there and my having visited and stayed with them at least 2 times in the span of the 34 years or so I've been in this world...I think you get where I'm going with this. Let's just say I like the California vibe a lot being someone from the Philippine islands. It can be in music (easy going beach-appropriate music has been an obsession or fixation of mine since some 3 to 4 years ago or so) or/and even in lifestyle.

So by saying going wholeheartedly into something I like, LOVE or am very passionate about like music and the official and unofficial clothes, t-shirts that come with it at times, I mean I would be the type to normally gravitate towards the merch of those I actually am into and am most familiar with. I've been hunting down a lot of merch in shopee, lazada and sometimes, even on ebay lately.

The BtoB Eunkwang member and number shirts aside I briefly mentioned contemplating getting a couple of in some paragraphs of this post back, these are some the Beach Boys shirts from Lazada I'm looking to get one day:

The Beach Boys may likely be more identifiable with Surfin' USA because THEY ARE the Beach Boys but as a true fan, although I got into them really late, my favorite really is Good Vibrations so the first two are definitely in my to-buy list at this point. My top the Beach Boys favorites I keep coming back to on the music stored on my phone are actually: Kokomo, Good Vibrations, In My Room (I swear this is pandemic lockdowns anthem. haha), and I Can Hear Music. All are in their the Sounds of Summer album compilation I have in digital form. I'm looking to own this in CD form and possibly the vinyl record form when I have enough and can actually also already get a decent vinyl record player from somewhere local here. There are some sold online in indie record stores mostly in the NCR up north but I'd need to really save up yet to get those. Okay, I'm kind of sad now. Anyway, this'll happen when it happens one day soon...that is...if I don't get too caught up into adulting 101 which seems to happen most of the time anyway.

Hmn...I do like Barbara Ann too. I mean, who can hate that one from Toy Story, really? The song is catchy as F---. Err...let's not go there. This is a g-rated space I intend on keeping that way. lol.

I think it'd be weird if you haven't ever heard of the Beach Boys when their music is like, EVERYWHERE. It's in the Big Time Rush beach, summer made for TV movie (Dance, Dance, Dance), it's in Toy Story (Barbara Ann and even in that iconic minions scene of said movie)...err...the Beach Boys and the Monkees, both. But should you live in a cave which should be good enough reason to have never heard of anything from these two very iconic bands back in the day and 'til now American rock and roll, pop rock bands, then...I don't think I can do anything about that one. lol.

Speaking of the Monkees, here are some lazada finds I'd like to own one day soonish:

 

 

Since we segued to how popular the Beach Boys were...are on tv and film, mostly those from North America or the USA in particular, I'd be just as horrified if one only knew of the Monkees lately from WandaVision. I'd come across people on Twitter and others all over the web saying it's the first they've heard of the Monkees on WandaVision and I don't even watch that one because 1, Disney+ is expensive (it's already here in the Philippines, afaik) and 2, I'm not really that into Marvel on tv and film forms except maybe some the X-Men, the Fantastic Four and Spiderman here and there. I'm a DC Comics fan---mostly the Batman fam because the first movie my dad took me to as a kid was Michael Keaton's Batman. Plus Young Justice seasons 1 and 2 in animated form is just...ugh. *Chef's kiss* We're going off tangent again. Okay, so what I mean to say is, the Monkees' I'm a Believer or Smashing Pumpkins' cover of it happened for Shrek way back 2001 and the 2010 Nickelodeon sitcom, Big Time Rush (also the same name as the featuring band of the show) is totally based on the show that also gave us the Monkees some decade or so before this one happened on Nick. (I also like, rather, prefer old Nickelodeon more than I do Disney so...yeah.) 

The Beach Boys and the Monkees ARE pop, pop rock, rock and roll icons, yes, and I'd love merch from both because I'm that DEEP into their discography, especially the Beach Boys' that's eclipsed the Beatles for me. I honestly just can't really care for the Beatles anymore since getting into the Beach Boys sometime middle to the near end of last year despite the many iconic songs from the Beatles. When you find a band and their discography that you can fully identify with, it just goes...it clicks, when it clicks, I guess. This is definitely me with a lot of the Beach Boys' music right now.

I don't think I can ever see the Beach Boys and the Monkees live nowadays and even post-COVID 19...if or when we should ever get rid of it eventually...because most of their members have passed or are on the way to passing due to old age, sickness etc. but American media made me a fan of theirs, the boredom of movement being highly restricted by the intermittent lockdowns due to the global pandemic made me a fan of theirs, their discography and themselves as a band and music maker/s, composers. (I'm not even in America to begin with but one day kind of hope to move there...one day. It's either the US or Australia for me because...yeah.)

Anyway, am I alone in this or has anyone else reached a period of musical eureeka this way like I did during the covid 19 pandemic series of lockdowns? One of my closest friends since my LiveJournal days to my early (til now) blue bird app days also took the ton of time given us by the global pandemic to look into old and new music like I did so I'm totally NOT alone here, at least in my locale, the Philippines.

I have yet to decide if I'd like to make a shrine in my bedroom for the musicians, bands, pop groups I like but I guess I've been building that for a while now with every CD I purchases from South Korea, Japan and the US...or those that are locally printed and distributed here though this has been happening less because there are really only indie record stores left with huge chains of them here closing down with every passing year. We've actually lost Odyssey, Astrovision and SM record bar Philippines in the span of some 5-10 years they were serving music lovers, audiophiles and the likes like yours truly here so they're pretty much, very sadly, all gone now.

***

I mentioned earlier that it's definitely not just band, music-related shirts I'm looking to stock up on. I'm kind of interested in other things like politics or socio-politics too although I'm not fond of anything too in your face or things that show how much I support or stan a politician because it's something I really don't like being seen as: a fanatic of a politician or a specific political party. Politics or socio-politics, in my opinion, has to be aligned more with what one wishes their nation and people would be like so it's not really about the candidate but more about whether your chosen candidates, whether they're in a party or not, would be able to improve the state of the nation from the way it is now.

Aside from that, I'm definitely very much into other things like Sanrio's Gudetama, Takeuchi Naoko's Sailormoon, tv shows like Teen Wolf, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, CSI and even films or movies like Christopher Nolan's the Dark Knight Trilogy to name one...Batman and the Batfam from DC Comics, mostly. Other than that, since I also own a cat, I'm into anything cats like pillows, plushies and figures. Mermaids, unicorns, fairies, pixies are a few things I'm into, too and everything that has to do with Halloween: witches, ghosts, the supernatural in general and more. You can really only imagine what my room is like and I'm lucky that with the abundance of clothes and such aside, at least I have some massive floor space and suhc left to plug in everything else I acquire over time. I'm going to eventually let go of them by selling or donating the ones I hardly use one of these days or even throwing away some that really can't ever be fixed anymore but until then, as a clothes, merch and all lover, I'd make good use of them until they serve their full use or life.

These things are those I'm wholeheartedly into so I'm definitely bound to keep them with me as long as I can because I know I love the people and body of work like music they are attached with and that I'm sure I will not really tire of them for say, some 3-5 years or even longer or so.  

I actually find that owning these things is fun because not only do their existence mean I can get them out and wear them either on specific occasions or casually but that I would have more things to play with stylistically and I definitely like to play with a lot of things in my wardrobe, my shoe rack, by bag rack and accessories stash to liven daily outfits out on every random, casual days in and out of the home, too!

These merch...they're not just there because I love the artists and such they reference or represent, they're there because they can be customized (should I get bored of wearing them the same few ways over and over and over) and styled differently with basics in the wardrobe so not only are they cool to have but they're fun to have, too!

getting back in the game, let's talk fandom

Hi there, sort of boring...err...Sunday.

Lately, I find myself amassing a lot of things fandom (asian pop music, mostly) so this alone, I feel, warranted a post of it's own. This still has something to do with Taipei's trip last year, October 5-7, 2019. One of the groups mentioned here was the one I went to Taipei for.

A word of warning? This post is photo heavy although most of them aren't high quality...much.

1. Pentagon - Thumbs Up Mini-Album 
I purchased this one two years ago but it came early last year. I think it kept getting delayed. 
I'm not a huge fan of the main single, Naughty Boy, but the B-sides like Thumbs Up among others, are what make this album more full and satisfying for me. This came with a Jinho photocard and an invitation to a Pentagon event with Universe that I couldn't go to because, well...I'm in the Philippines. Maybe next time. I'll definitely try to make it to the Cube Ent. cafe when I am there around Seoul though. Hopefully soon. I've been hearing news that it's more difficult now to go to Seoul. :( They've tightened up some or so.

My favorite track from this album? Thumbs up, currently. I have it on eternal repeat. Kind of.

I am amazed by the all around-ness of Kpop albums granted this is my first Kpop-related purchase. I love the Japanese ones more considering I have lol's Fire! single, Miura Daichi's Right Now single and more (my Da-iCE purchases are also coming in this year so...) but the South Korean pop music stuff are definitely in a league of their own with album booklets that double as photo books. Meanwhile, I have to spend separately for Da-iCE's photobooks and more. RIP wallet, when it comes to Jpop. But Kpop also just about kills the monthly salary/wage as well. Life of an eternal fangirl...

2. Sunggyu's Post Cards and Photocards 
I got these from Shopee thanks to the bff and someone who likely went to Gyu's last concert, Shine, way way back before he went away to serve at the SK military/army forces. (He's back now after 18 months of being away from us so YAAYYYY!!!) Anyway, these are, like, DIVINE because I currently have an obsession with platinum-haired Kim Sunggyu. If only I could rock the same hair color as well as he does. /lesigh.

Infinite's Kim Sunggyu is a current and still ongoing obsession of mine because of not only his full album, Shine, but also because of his variety TV work. The Genius, for one, is one show I will keep on repeat because of how smart he is on there. And of course, many others.

As of this writing, one of the photocards is at the back of my phone and on a wallet I sometimes take with me on whatever trips out. Hmn...

3. Pentagon - Genie:Us
2019 was the year when I amassed everything Pentagon and this was the second purchase I had since the previous one, Thumbs Up! They rarely let me down music-wise hence why I've been constantly getting their mini-albums or so.
Shalala is likely my favorite from here along with the music video for it. And I love, LOVE Round 1 as well though just a bit lukewarm with Spring Snow. I love the stages for the latter though.
As per usual, this came with cool stuff plus an invitation to an event with Universes (their fans' collective name) but alas, as I am in the Philippines...no way can I ever get to that one. Also, it comes with a post card of, I think, Shinwon's arm in a raincoat or so. Hmn...

It also came with some sort of bookmark. I think this one's Kino or...someone else. Hui? I'm not sure. It could also be Yuto though. I'm amazed by the inside of the booklet slash photobook. It's pop-up style and so cute and pretty!

I'm not sure who I got as a photocard for this one. I forgot...I'll unearth it somewhere later.

4. Pentagon - SUM(ME:R)

Hands down, my current favorite of the bunch and therefore the one Pentagon album on eternal repeat for me on a daily-ish basis.

The contents of this one is the best and even my friend/s confirm so. If there's anything I'm devoted to, it's finding gems like this mini-album that's summery and sunshiney and warm. (I actually became a fan of Golden Child because of this...if that's any sort of help or indication of...stuff...) I love everything in this album from 접근금지 (Humph!) to Round 2. But my favorite will have to be 판타지스틱 (Fantasystic, I think?) as it is the best BOP in there~

And whoopy yay! That's a Yuto photocard, yes, and a Yanan post card. I kind of miss him, yes.

5. Pentagon - Happiness

Not pictured but this came to me from Japan. And to anyone interested in getting Japan releases from Pentagon among others, you can go here and request it: @kg_0917. 

I haven't listened much to it but know that I enjoy the music video/pv for Happiness a lot. It's sooo mood for me along with Da-iCE's Damn It. The freebie is a poster and it is immaculate. I'd like it framed, by the by along with other things.

6. Miscellaneous everything from Japan including Da-iCE's Fake Show single (also got Da-iCE's Best album...)

Da-iCE. When it comes to them, I'm usually Hanamura Sota-biased so most I got were Sota everything including a clear file or two I have no idea what to use for. I thought they were big-sized bromides. Hmn...

Also, some fashion magazines, err, well, a Vivi because I love Vivi. And finally, a Junon! Yay! Another one is coming in the mail yet along with a secondhand but still functioning Instax cam I got at a good deal. Er...low price of 3000 JPY! A seriously good deal, like...seriously. 

Not pictured, Da-iCE's Best album that came after. It's a 2-4 CDs in one sort of thing safely nestled now in my music fandom corner nook of the bedroom self with the others.

7. Golden Child's Re:Boot full-length album

My first Woollim Entertainment purchase. Yay! This is also the most recent purchase of mine that was just delivered in early this month.

It's not the whole thing and these are just pages of the booklet plus that Jaehyun photocard but I was awestruck by how tall this one was. It literally took up my shelf dedicated to the fandom stuff and...it also towered over three of my Pentagon albums that were...comparatively just a tad bit smaller.

Anyway, these are just pages showing my favorites: Bomin looking regal, there's also Joochan in pretty pink hair (congratulations on him rejoining Golden Child after recovering from injury! this is late but yeah...it still stands), and Sungyoon/Y.

What I liked about this one? It came with a 2020 calendar so this pretty much stopped me from buying or looking for one of Takeuchi Ryoma's or some other as I have already retired Pentagon's Season's Greetings from 2019. Problem? The calendar doesn't have anything I can use to hang it somewhere to unlike Pentagon's Season's Greetings. I'm too afraid to ruin it so it's just sitting at a desk as of this moment, still unopened.

Still others I got for fandom's sake and being a random fangirl, Infinite Kim Sunggyu's platinum haired 20cm doll I have yet to find clothes for. It came with freebies so, yay~

Others to come soon: the Produce 101 Japan fanbook, Da-iCE's Back to Back single, JO1's (from Produce 101 Japan) single/s I haven't ordered yet. I also have yet to get Produce 101 Japan's Fanbook plus or volume 2. And JO1's single, Protostar. It's for pre-order yet and comes in three types so RIP money. Hmn...I'll pre-order this one, maybe next month. 

Yep, I've been spending so much on fandom lately that I need to get a higher paying job so, yeah, I'm going to toil on this one tomorrow. I have somewhere to be after the work shift tomorrow so wish me luck? It's for the future of myself I have in mind...yet.

because it's fri...day the 13th

top and choker/necklace, forever21. shorts, secondhand lowry's. boots, rubi by cotton on via zalora ph. bag, giani bernini via macy's. 

Some things are meant to be had in twos...or in every color it is available in. Such is the case of the top here from f21 I got in black and white.

Meanwhile, something pretty exciting to look out for:

The snippets they released on this clip tells me the mini album is going to be good. It would be awesome if they chart high this year. They're the only kpop group I really follow nowadays anyway... Most of the time, I'm still more into jpop, western pop, and occasionally the really local, regional (Bisaya/Cebuano) pop. 

And therefore follows that music of the day is:

 

Highlight of lol's recently released first full length album titled 'lolol' is this song, Hanauta (english translation: 'Flower Song' though it really gives more of a springtime vibe when the rest of the album screams 'summer!!!'). The music video for this is just so good. I've been hoping for the song to be released in a single or some other but it got released in a full length album so this one really made my year complete since. I still maintain then that lolol is still the summer (rather, lifetime?) album to have this year. Ah, why is it that summer jpop releases are frequently the best ever? I don't really know the answer to that either...haha. It's been the case since Da-iCE Paradive was released a year or two ago...

fairylike

dress, zara. boots, rubi by cotton on. bangles, from souvenir shop in dumaguete city and vintage. bag, kohl's (? I'm not sure...)

This Zara dress hasn't seen the light of day since I acquired it from the year end/season end sale around late 2015 to early 2016. This was basically two or three seasons ago. I've only taken it out of its hanger, from the rack with the most pieces I get most wear from on a daily basis, today. And I've just removed it's tag today as well. I know, really weird, right? I have the habit of keeping some pieces I get that I find I really like still tagged and left hanging on a rack in the bedroom until the mood and the occasion calls for me to get them out and finally wear them out with. I'm pretty sure I was able to get something else from that particular sale apart from this one but I forget what that was...hmn...

And in fandom news: there's only 5 days left until Highlight (the only male quintet kpop group I really stan where that part of pop is concerned...) releases Celebrate. Needless to say, I am pumped! I can't wait to listen to what this is going to be like. Highlight, since their period as Beast, has been delivering really well on the music front since time immemorial. Also, for the Jpop side of things, I've been obsessing with Da-iCE's 君色 (romaji: Kimi Iro) single/EP since last night. I love, love, loooove the b-side that is Fly Higher as much as I do the title track, 君色 (Kimi Iro). One is as good as the other. Yudai and Sota's solos are really, really good too. I rarely do get disappointed by any Da-iCE release. I'm finding lately that I rarely get disappointed by lol's releases as well. I suppose this is me getting used to anything Avex Japan, which is the main Japanese entertainment management agency I'm really into.

And so, until the next post, I leave you with this pretty, pretty (I'm not at all sure if I've attached this one to a previous post last month...it's taking me long nowadays to update this space with things for personal life/issues reasons...):

an ivory shapeless not-so-mess

love lace insert balloon sleeves dress, zalora (in blush). heels, zalora (old). leaf necklace, forever21. bag, gianni bernini.

This zalora dress came with the two-piece swimwear set from Something Borrowed from last week's orders. It's as magical as I dreamt it would be in real life. Confession: I've actually been eyeing this one for so long from the site but only bit when the price went down to about 700 Php. It's currently perfect lounge piece for me now. The sleeves' wrist opening can be tightened but I somehow prefer it undone. It keeps the dress magical that way, giving it the illusion of being, well, shapeless. The inside is fully lined so nothing shows. I have a feeling that apart from being a lounge piece, this will be sort of party or get together dress for me this last quarter of the year, too. Well, we shall see with that...

Lately, the days are getting shorter. It's technically fall in other areas, I suppose but here, to us here in the tropical belt, this signals the long countdown to the Christmas season. I guess I got this dress at the right time to wear for the colder, not really that chilly days.

Is it time to start looking for dresses for parties here and there now then? I suppose so. I'm not sure if I'll be doing that, however, as after acquiring this and the two-piece swimwear, I'm most likely abstaining from buying until next year. I'll make do with what I have in the wardrobe like I always do again. Maximizing the use of everything in a pretty limited wardrobe is creatively, resourcefully fun and at the same time, quite thrifty. Nothing new to me as it's what I'd been doing for awhile now.

Moving onto fandom everything I miss updating about: my pop music mood today is Cream's Change album released last year. The title track is really pretty cute...err...very fun everything. I'm a huge fan of Cream's singing half, Minami, as she spent a part of her childhood in Hongkong and is fluent in English and Japanese at the same time. Needless to say, I have the album on constant repeat slash loop on the itunes as of this moment...here's a snippet of said really fun title track (the remix here is alright but I like the regular album version more for some reason...hmn...):

pretty sure i can get away with this one day

 knee-high boots and top, f21; leggings, random

It's still a tad bit humid - typical characteristic of cold, cloudy all-day way weather down in the tropics - although cloudy (it rained this morning). But tonight will be pretty cold like the nights before this. Kind of weird...I dunno...this isn't typical early March weather and temperatures here. Usually, it gets sunnier and hotter at this time of the year granted, we only really have two seasons: the rainy and the sunny-hot (since a couple years ago or so, extremely hot but not middle east countries intolerable desert hot). 

Isn't this outfit giving you Olsen vibes? Yeah...I'm not all sure either. But I bet I can get away with going out in this one day should the day's temperatures and weather/mood permit. The boots blend in with the black (if you squint for a closer look, shiny) leggings so I'm pretty sure people will think I'm wearing regular footwear out and not the knee-high kind. This area of the world, aside from being out of the fashion radar, is...should I say...judgemental of the obvious out-of-the-norm pieces in daily outfits often not seen out in the streets here. I'll take note of how appropriate this looks like however and how people will probably not be staring at my footwear of choice should I decided to one day go out in this...err...get-up.

Anyway, all things random that went on this week: the Oscars - I want to watch Moonlight, that's pretty much all I got from the bits and pieces of it I've seen on HBO Asia. I did watch the red carpet for a bit but I couldn't, somehow, keep my mind and eyes on it. Not sure if I just don't really care for what celebrities there are wearing, which designer they had their dresses made or I just have really short attention span for everything red carpet save for the Grammy's. Jpop fandom: it escaped me how Dream5 have been disbanded at the start of this year. This is probably around the same time Ito Chiaki left her jpop group, AAA. Sad start of the year all around for this one? Not much...really. Da-iCE did have their Budokan 17 days into this still sort of new year and lol's released a digital single. SOLIDEMO is still around. Despite those two rather disappointing things in the jpop fandom end, it's still a pretty good year for it, I think. 

black and blue

 secondhand cutoffs and gap t, vintage belt, zalora heels, ninewest bag, aizilim necklaces and rings

The many times I've blogged an incarnation of this get-up...I can't really recall anymore. Played it up a bit with a vintage belt in deep brown that's quickly becoming my favorite, however. Never said you can't wear one too many things with multiply buckles in them in one outfit post. I guess I just am the type to not get enough of the good edgy things. A repeat outfit can never get old with different variants of accessories---how to make a repeat get-up on a daily basis not boringly repetitive 101...

 plus secondhand corduroy jacket

Luckily, I caught the tail end of the golden hour enough to shoot this one. I almost didn't today.

Even when making the Chun-Li buns, I'm a mess. Let's just leave it at that. My skill in hair-styling is as hopeless as my make-up skills...yep... Even if my life depended on those two, apart from clothes styling...I...can't. I'll just be the clumsy ardent disciple learning the art however I can't really promise anything on that front... I can bleach and dye (blonde) the h*** out of hair however, so that's a consolation, I guess?

And now a couple music recommendations because...just because...

 

Just. How good is this Da-iCE cover of Ariana Grande's Into You? Like how good, GOOD, exactly? If you get what I mean in the midst of incoherently flailing on this one here at the mo...that is.

I seem to have this on eternal loop on itunes today...well, since the weekend that is. That I prefer this to the original version of Shakira's for the Zootopia soundtrack is...well...a no brainer. I am a semi-E-girls fan. Like an on/off one.

momentary happiness

Cross-posted from my tumblr just because...

I'll try to be productive today while listening to this one over and over...or at least stare at this MV for the nth time since yesterday? Or not...that would be creepy but it happens sometimes, lol. Also sort of obsessed with Hanamura Sota, that cute redhead <3 ....and you don't want to know how many times the play button has been abused. On the upside, it's keeping me from getting depressed again or at least momentarily. 

The depression's mild or I think it is but it happens so frequently not only do I find it annoying but...well, it's annoying. I'm probably just burnt out from work, thinking about life and trying to finish my thesis. Applying for another job post of the same thing was clearly what drew this one on. Did I really think I can juggle three jobs at once? Nope, I was just mental these past few days. Thing is, I don't even need to be under the influence of anything like drugs or alcohol to be in this state. I'm someone who can mess up anything so easily without any unhealthy vice I find them unnecessary (I only drink socially and that means really rarely these days). It's mostly work-related problems getting to me so meh. :\

Yep, I'm a Jfangirl and there's no shame in being one. Fandom and being excessively into it is probably my one and only not-so-healthy vice. I'm a boring person. LOL. 

I hardly open things up about these so consider it a snippet on what goes on with me sometimes.

Just a thought: I, at times, feel the need to disconnect from society in general (including the interweb) and all the clutter life throws my way. Times like these help me sort out my thoughts, priorities and others. It's like going on a personal retreat of some sort. Now, I have a handful of really good friends and some decent acquaintances but I find it a luxury if I can have time to recollect in silence, preferably somewhere where no soul knows or recognizes me. I only feel lonely sometimes but it does help me start fresh over the next few days. There was a time back when I was in high school and early college when I can handle pressure really well but now, it's just not the case anymore. I keep having the need to compensate for every moment I put a little of myself out to the public. The upside of such a habit is that it keeps me from self-destructing which is something I'm not to put off in the near future, I keep thinking it will happen anyhow. Right now, I just keep being amazed how I can pull through much, much later on. I've always been the life-loving kind---never was suicidal or close to it, also it'd really be a waste of time and life if I or anyone else I know were---as I have been since a child, so self-destruction only means taking time off from things for me. So right now, before I pick up where I left off in terms of work and stuff, I'm taking this time to recharge my batteries and just listen to the music.

三浦大知

Can't wait for this to drop come December 12. 

Along with this

 But I'll have to wait until January to get this. =.=U